That family



Today we were that family 🤪. You know the one, the one who’s child is running round the restaurant and the parents don’t have a care in the world.

Noting my earlier blog, Snowday, where the snow pissed all over our Sunday plans to go to our friends small child’s christening, we drove up to Northampton yesterday evening to meet them for dinner. We met them at a Beefeater at roughly the halfway point between our two houses.

Gracie has her dinner at Nursery, I’m not really sure what we were thinking taking her for dinner….but everyone loves double eating right? She also loves her sleep and is normally away with the fairies by 19:30 but we decided we’d go anyway.

When we arrived our friends were already seated. Their two kids happily watching Peppa on their parents phones. Loving life. Try to remove a phone from a child midway through Peppa! I dare you!

BTW I make no judgement about a child who sits and watches Peppa in a restaurant, we always said we wouldn’t be that parent and we do try to entertain Gracie in other ways when eating out, but sometimes the kids just need their fix.

The older of our friends kids and Gracie were running round the table, singing jingle bells and playing ring-a-roses. Not one fuck was given by us about the noise they were making or who they could be irritating. Normally we are the parents fretting about being quiet when eating out, table manners bla bla bla. But the inner child in me yesterday took over.

We ate. Kids ate. We chatted. Kids played. It was a nice evening. Gracie was in her element and was treating the restaurant like a playground, running under our waitresses feet and getting in the way. To be fair our waitress was on top form and was playing with the kids too. In fact, she was a bit of a legend, she asked if we had any vouchers (which we didn’t) but gave us 40% off all our mains anyway! 👍🏼

Gracie announces she needs a wee. Stood a number of tables away I asked to come over to me and I’d take her. She’s holding her bits doing the ‘i need a wee’ dance. I called her again ‘Gracie come here, I’ll take you to the toilet.’ She shouts, and I mean really shouts ‘no daddy I pushed it back in’ and carry’s on playing.

Eventually Gracie gives in and I take her to the toilet. She decides she needs a number two. I don’t mind taking her to the toilet but blokes public toilets are grim. Gracie always comments on how dirty they are or that they smell. ‘Daddy why’s that one still got poo in it?’

She’s sitting on the toilet, singing a song she has made up otherwise ‘it won’t come out’….I don’t get a song and dance when I enter a room but her steaming turd does, I’ve got it all wrong….Gracie announces ‘Daddy that stinks, quickly air it out please’ I tried to reassure her that it was OK and that’s what happens. ‘Daddy get your magic wand out please, do some magic to make it go away’

So there I am, in the middle of the blokes toilets, pretend magic wand ‘abracadabra alakazam, make that smell go away’ Gracie thanks me and we go to wash our hands. The looks some people give in public toilets are unreal, they’ve clearly never had to do magic tricks before, either that or their shit smells like roses 🌹

We walked back to the table. Gracie saw a pile of presents under the Christmas tree. She grabbed one and before I could grab her she runs back to the table to give it to Mummy. Quite cute but jeeeesus people like to roll their eyes don’t they!

We paid and left. It was a reasonably pleasant journey back home. Gracie was watching Peppa in the back of the car, every now and then she let’s out a belly-wobbling laugh. I reflect on our evening. We all enjoyed it. Gracie had free reign we got to eat in peace, what more could we ask for?

To be fair normally when we eat out Gracie will just sit and eat, but she had already had her dinner so wasn’t overly fussed about eating again. I quite enjoyed watching the reactions of the other people as Gracie was getting louder and louder and more and more annoying haha.

It was nice being that family but normal service will resume from now on. Gracie will sit angelicly eating her dinner with her cutlery, using her manners, not a phone in sight and we will all talk about how our day has been……..yeah fucking right!


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